Right Now i need your Prayer
I will put an update up in the next day or two with all of the adventures but before that, i need to ask for your support.
I have taken a lot of hits lately. It's hard because there has been good things happening too, but my credibility and capability of being responsible have just been ripped to shreds. I have really come to a place where i don't even trust myself let alone expect others to trust me for being responsible with anything!
I have felt under attack.
i am not shying away from my responsibility, but there has just been too much that has gone wrong to take it as just coincidence. I don't know of hidden sin and really feel like it is just a time of attack and testing
Dan has posted on this as well. Click Here to Read
Just a quick recap of what has happened since i've benn here:
This Last Week
*work surfboard flew off roof and i will have to pay for repairs
*Dan's expensive camera lens fell out of car window
*My surf fin snapped and fell off van
*Dan lost and ripped 2 favorite shirts
Rest of Trip:
camera lens broke on my camera (using lender right now)
Everything went wrong on youth camping trip
*Van broke down (borrowing from senior pastor Mike Y.)
*Didn't make it to camp ground
*tents blew down
*couldn't swim cause the water was too shallow
Got in an accident with a cranky guy and his show car
*cranky guy took Dan's driver's license
*had to pay for accident since it was my fault
*had to drive in rain until our car window was fixed
lost my wallet- social security number, driver's license/ID, bank cards, etc.
My i-pod and adapter was stolen
cell phone got water in it and died
laptop needed a battery replaced
So Right now i need your prayer.
I have been making progress on my dreams and future, but if i feel like i am supposed to lead or be responsible for leading anyone i need a lot of restoration in my life right now. I see myself as accident prone. (i think most would). The problem is, with all the accidents right now, i doubt my capabilities of any responsibility. There have been multiple times this last month where i have said in my head, "i QUIT!" I want to go in my room and not take responsibility for anything or find some job where i don't have to put anyone or anything at risk! I know God redeems my efforts, but i feel like everything i touch gets broken or lost! :) In one sense it is funny and makes me want to laugh, but in reality when something happens, i am so sensitive right now, that this laughing leads straight into whining tears that just say, "i'm done."
I would appreciate your prayers for my restoration and strength over this binding of failure that is over my life. It might be teaching me what matters most, it may be strengthening me for the future, it may be shaping me for my dreams, it may be just a time of testing somewhat like Job, but whatever it is, thank you for your prayers and support in this journey as i serve the church and pray for the people of New Zealand.