Processing Machine

Since i have returned to Indiana after New Year's i have been a processing MACHINE!!! i may have not done everything well, i may have been distracted at times, i may not have been great at output, but i definitely have been thinking, learning, reading, praying, analyzing, processing, and solidifying so many important issues about what i believe, who i am, and what my dreams are that i cannot be thankful enough for this season in that regard

(sorry to ruin it if you couldn't tell and were wondering, but this picture is flipped upside down)

A problem i have dealt with a lot lately...

This is a 5 minute video of me just talking...
so grab your coffee and get comfortable for "Bed Time Talks With Brent."


Here are two other blogs i have written on finding meaning and purpose in church. CLICK on the title:
1. What is a church service supposed to be?

2. Why Do young adults hate the church?! WHy i love the church.

Trying to Prove Ourselves

I played ping pong a lot in college and got pretty good. You could say I even prided myself in my talent. I remember one instance where I played really easy on my friend (we will call him Chris) who was known for his lack of talent, so I decided to let him win. Chris’ reaction made me feel like my charitable act was good. But that wasn’t the end…

(This is not "Chris", this is actually Luke Helm one of my toughest competitors)

…the next day I had three people including my friend come back up to me and comment about how shocked they were that Chris had beaten me. That really started to bug me. It was okay to let him win… but to let others honestly believe that he was better than me, to let them honestly think I was not as good as I really was, and then to reaffirm his win with my own two lips without trying to defend my skill was
HARD!
i thought,
"I am better than they think i am."
"Can i really let everyone think Chris beat me?"

It wasn't worry about lying, it was my pride being challenged,
But it was good for me.
And I actually believe that was at the heart of Jesus’ sacrifice.
Look at verse 8: of Philippians 2

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 
 6Who, being in very nature God, 
 did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 
 7but made himself nothing, 
 taking the very nature of a servant, 
 being made in human likeness. 
 8And being found in appearance as a man, 
 he humbled himself 
 and became obedient to death— 
 even death on a cross!

People mistook Jesus as just a man!

God humbled himself in Jesus by actually letting others think he was just a man, mock him, challenge his power, and that he deserved to be treated as a man. Not only that, but he didn’t have a complex about proving himself to be God while he was on earth. The point wasn’t to prove he was better than everyone, but to ultimately help us in love!
God is still working on me in this area.

Just today, God spoke to me about reevaluating my ministry goals. While most of my goals are out of a pure heart and just enjoyment of life, I realize that:

I still have an underwriting drive to prove that my ministry is as good as I know or believe it is.

I want to show that I am an accomplished adult, minister, and man. Although there is truth to this in Christ’s power, I believe that as long as I still struggle with my “proving myself complex” I will never fully understand the heart of Jesus’ sacrifice which went fully beyond self-glorification and what was deserved, because of his love and desire to truly help others.

God helped me write this statement of freedom below a few months ago, but I think it is a statement that I will constantly be learning and redeveloping for the rest of my life.

Proclamation of freedom

You're Free!
Don't get caught up in trying to do it for yourself
You don't have to prove your worth it
You don't have to prove your better
God's love is enough!
That is salvation.
That is him Saving you from this world.
Now love God
and love others
Freely.
Gal 3:3, 5:1, 5:13-15

Overcoming a childhood fear...

I have always had stage fright.
and this last Sunday I made a huge step to overcoming that!
Growing up, while i took piano lessons, my mom tried to get me to go to piano recitals. I remember refusing, my mom telling me i had to go at one point, but then not making me when she saw how fearful and avid i was about not getting up in front of people.

Speaking freaked me out and still makes me nervous.
The idea of losing my place in the middle of a piano recital just freaks me out.

Anyways, this last Easter Sunday i was playing the keyboard with the worship band. I had only really been a filler up until this point, but during the Sunday morning practice Josh asked me to keep playing while the rest of the band faded out on "How Great thou Art." During practice, I totally botched it the first time we tried, then i did okay during the second try.

Josh had NO CLUE what he was really asking me to do or how big of a deal this was in my head!!!

I got up there on Easter morning, stuck to my basics and did it! Not great, there was one awkward lead in, but i didn't ruin the moment. It was good and although it was only 20 seconds of a worship set that happens every week in reality... it was A HUGE step for me!

Tonight i witnessed a beautiful thing...

Josh Woods, who has been the youth pastor where my dad pastors at Plymouth Wesleyan, told the youth group that he was leaving after 3 1/2 years to church plant in Tennessee.
It was a sad night.
Yet it was also a special night.
After his announcement, the teens willingly circled around Josh and his wife Jess and began praying over him, many of the prayers, prayers of thanks. I wish i had gotten a picture of the hundred teens circled around josh with their hands laid on each other. it was a picture of power, unity, love, and loyalty that was a privilege to be a part of.

Yesterday was a GREAT day!

It was the day i got beat at Dr. Mario!

My family played this game growing up and i was always one of the best.  Just recently i was wondering if any of my friends would be a challenge.

last night i got whooped by my friend Taylor Hulse and loved every minute of it!

Does anyone else like getting beat?!?  i love the challenge of it, as long as i have another chance. 

I remember losing in 007 for the Nintendo 64 over and over again to my friend Raymond, but we kept playing and playing because i was determined to win and i loved every minute of it.  

Well last night started a new phase of Dr. Mario playing.  Yeah for old school!!

Our Life's Goal...

I was running and i had this thought that i am still working through, but it was definitely a moment of clarity and connection with God.

The thought was this:

Man's Life's Aspiration is to Live out and Love God's agenda for our lives.

It is a work in progress so feel free to criticize and challenge.
For instance, my cousin Becka didn't necessarily agree with always being able to love God's agenda for your life being the goal.
I was thinking in Outline form so bear with me.

Everyone lives their life with some worldview or motto or goal to be successful
•The Goal is To be successful- whatever that looks like for them
o Examples
• To enjoy live
• To help others
• To get rich
• To not worry about money
• To be healthy
• To have friends
• To defy the world’s expectations

How do we know what is God’s agenda?
o We must know and grow to understand God better.
• Who is he?
• What does he ask?
• What does he value?
• Basically: What is his will?
o Must know ourselves
• Who has God made us to be?
• How has he uniquely made us?
• How am I to help others in this world?
• Basically: What is his will and how has he created me to be involved?
o We must understand the story
• What is the story of history?
• What role do we play the universe’s timeline?
• Basically: What is his will for humanity?

How do we Live God’s Agenda
o We must trust God
• How do I know he won’t make me do something I don’t want to?
• How do I know he will make everything work out?
• How do I know when I have done my part?
• How do I know what season I am in?

How do we Love God’s Agenda
o God’s agenda must become ours
• Justice
• Worldly sacrifice
• Victory
• True Freedom
• To Enjoy in God’s Beauty
o God’s heart must become ours
• We must love as he loves (
• We must see as he sees (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
• We must value as he values (
• We must prioritize as he prioritizes
• We must act as he would act
o We do this because it is not only God’s agenda & desires but it is also becoming ours