Details:
The police fingerprint crew came and didn't find anything, so the burglars must've worn gloves
We reported all the details of the stolen items, but the chances are slim that we will see them again.
Graeme and I both were pretty tired at the end of this week, probably because of the robbery among other things.
People have been very generous and supportive in offering temporary solutions: laptops, mp3 players, a playstation 2, etc.
The Negatives
Spacey:
I wouldn't call me spacey normally, but i have left more people hanging, missed people right in front of my face, and forgotten to do things way more than usual. My brain has just been out of it.
Sad Expectation:
Graeme and i both have less than fun feeling that it will happen again. Not realistically, but everytime i walk out to my car or walk up to the house it is almost like i just expect a window to be smashed in.
Mentally tired:
I was just tired, man! I have had people concerned because i have seemd "tired" and wornout the past week. On Saturday i was asked to go two different places for lunch. I was literally so drained i didn't want to have to choose, so i went home and took a nap instead.
Guard Down:
Usually you can process things in perspective, but when you are tired your guards are down and there were a few comments made towards me that i could normally brush off, but just sat longer simply because i didn't have the ability to bounce back.
Low Point:
Exhaustion, strain, stress, responsibilities, guards down, and lack of my calendaring tools in my life accumulated this week and left me pretty low. I finished a youth rally Saturday night ready to go home alone. Instead i felt inclined to invite Heidi, Rachel, & the teens from the last youth group i worked with at Shoregrace over....
The Positives
Family & Christmas:
Inviting the teens over, putting on Christmas music, and just hanging out was so therapeudic for me! It was just what i needed and was the closest i felt to it getting close to Christmas with the ambiance and people i enjoy just hanging out together.
Mom and Jen, I put your gifts to use.... i decided to use the rings as decoration and the calendar as the countdown. Love you family and miss you guys.
The Church Body:
Both this time and when i hit a HUGE low the last time in New Zealand, it has been a group of Christian family that have brought me back up. It was encouraging words at a church service at night the first time and this time it was just having a glimpse of home and family.
A Backpack:
My friend Paul, bought me a nice backpack to replace the one stolen. It may have been a small thing, but it meant a lot and is probably the nicest backpack i have ever had!
Support:
I have to admit i am not good at being helped. I tend to try and fix my own life, so it has been good for me to have people from Cession, GP, and even Shoregrace come beside and ask for ways to help. It is good to not feel alone. Also it is helping me to learn how to let others help instead of trying to fix it on my own which is hard to do at times.
The verse i have been quoting constantly has been John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
3 comments:
Hey Brent!
I have been paralleling some of those exact feelings in the last few weeks.
Vulnerable - (I hate feeling that I can not controll my circumstances) - I had both of my car windows smashed in within a week of each other on two separate random occassions. The first, my purse was stolen. A huge blessing that nothing important was in it! The second was in the middle of the night at my apartment complex. I started wishing that I had never had a car ... but then began to see the blessings through these incidents.
Unrested / restless - I haven't been sleeping well at all lately and even when I try to convince myself that I am giving all my worries to God my mind goes on and on all night ... except when I welcome the help of ny-quill! Also I feel restless ... not that I am not content where I am now, but that this isn't it so what more could I be doing about the future or am I missing sometime that God is throwing in my face!?!
Also the change in lifestyle over the last few months has left me having to re-define the image I have/had of myself. Sometimes I don't feel like myself ... and that is weird.
But, through everything, I have some God-given, amazingly supportive housemates and a growing group of new Christian friends. I can honestly say I have never in my life looked forward to Sundays so much!
Sorry for my rambling, but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and "God works everything for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose" ... and I am 1000% positive that includes YOU! :)
love ya, Bro ... and praying for you!
Julie, thanks for writing. That is crazy all the stuff that has happened to you. You do understand what i am going through. You are an inspiration in the way that you have stepped out and charged life, i am praying that God will continue to strengthen you and give you defined purpose in this time, that has been huge for me.
Brent, thank you SO much for the encouragement!
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