My Desires RIght Now

Desire Break Down

To live in God's love
To search for the Lord wholly
To understand other religions/beliefs and where they are right and wrong
To be pushed Intellectually
To be challenged
To use my God-given passions through community
To impact through consistency
To teach
To be pouring and poured into.

Where I am at?
I am 23. have Started Master's and would love to finish it. want to learn and be pushed. want to get out of debt. want to find a job i am sold on. Desire to help where there is a need that God has given me a passion and gifting to fulfill. want to get married at least before i am 30. Find a church family where i do not feel stifled in expressing myself. Want to enjoy life and activity through sport and outdoors. Want my life and walk with the Lord to be described as Thriving. I want people to first and foremost understand why i do what i do and i want the answer to be very clearly and obviously the Lord so that it is evident to myself and others where my source of strength comes from.

An outside pressure to succeed. To be successful as a person who is well rounded, respected, capable, responsible, trusted, in control, investing for the future, personable, etc. The Base Factor often being Financial Security.

I didn't put the lines above with the full paragraph because i am not sure they are a core want but rather a want that has some influence on me. I am sure i see all of the above as good/successful if achieved but i am not sure about everything in the last lines.Although it is good and i want it SO bad, i sometimes doubt the idea of security and success in finances. We take so much pride in it though... ie. Being able to give. Not need from others. etc. (there are biblical concepts there but it can be a source of pride as well) There's a battle of blessing vs. responsibility vs. false security vs. pride