Monday, May 15, 2006

Thoughts on church

This weekend i was able to attend Central Wesleyan Church. I loved the service and what it does, so this blog is not mocking or questioning anything they do, it is more my thoughts in general. During worship they song a song with these lyrics and my thoughts flowed from there.

“I am free to run, I am free to dance, live my life for you”

What does it mean to be free in the Lord?
When do I get to show freedom without restraints?
Even when I want to live free in God’s security I’m always worried as to whether I am waiting on God in the way I should or not? (there are no prerequisites for how much time to listen or whether you are approaching in complete righteousness)
I’m always questioning my freedom
I’m supposed to be free to live in my choices: but i am always questioning whether they are right or wrong.
I think it is always funny to hear Wesleyans sing about being “free to dance?” What does that look? A few people in the congregation swaynig back and forth? The most i have seen Wesleyans dance at most is every once awhile in celebration and i don't even know that we do that well.
Free to listen to my own music: I am usually too worried about making others stumble
Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial
I’ve always emphasized "not beneficial" instead of everything being permissible
“everything not being beneficial” Allows us to keep control by not letting things get too out of hand
I have been learning lately
-avoid extremes because that’s when good things often become evil.
-Don’t get too prideful/complacent cause that’s when you get burned the most
-ie.Poker- when you are most sure about your hand is when you lose the biggest.
I still have so much to learn
I feel like I have a good grip on life but I know I’m not the most disciplined person and that i have other problems I’m not thinking of.
When do I get to be okay with my inadequacy?
I feel like I have to accept my inadequacy and then I have to move on and do better at worldly wisdom or making a difference for Jesus. I never get to accept my inadequacy and God's sufficiency and that be it. Instead, I use that thought, “anything I do is enough for Jesus, no matter how small, because it’s more than I have to do for God” as a comfort when I get stressed, but not as a basic drive belief

My Basic Drive Beliefs:
Enjoy life to the fullest
Know God as good as possible
Be the best Christian possible
Accomplish as much as possible
Including having the largest impact on people as possible
Have fun
Stay fit
Live up to others expectations for me to succeed
Be the model:
-be real with people
-be relevant/cool
-not do anything questionable even if I want to

I am not saying that all of these Basic Drive Beliefs are right or the best... they are just a reality about my life. I would love to hear your thoughts... i am still figuring things out.


Anonymous said...

I like the thoughts and many of the questions you have are issues I often wrestle with. Like the one thing with freedom. There has to be a greater experience of freedom than I am living in know. How do i experience that Freedom. I have questions about a few beliefs. Like not doing you want something you want if it is questionable to others. I dont know why but that just seems a jacked up way of looking at things. I think living true to yourself is something going to cause people to question what you are doing. But i dont know what are the right beliefs are. Hope you find this post. When you do give me a call and we can catch up.


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