Made for relationship

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.

George Moore

At the core of who we are as humans we are made for relationship.

I just spoke on freedom at youth group last night, and one distinction i had never noticed before when talking about freedom was this

Human freedom is to do whatever one wants or feels

God's freedom is to do whatever one wants out of love

13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5
God's freedom is true freedom because it is the best way to help people.

Anger, envy, drunkenness, sexual immorality, etc. all hurt others, BUT
Love, joy, peace, self control, etc. all help others.

Freedom in Christ is the ability to help and not harm people in their deepest need: To be in a love relationship with God and others

Security in Prayer

I just realized something a few days ago. The road back to New Zealand has been an encouraging process, but it has also been a long and hard process. During those times it has been so easy to be tempted to think, "What if i mess this whole thing up?!? I know i am weak."

But i can't. I have too many people praying for me and i trust the Lord and i trust their prayers! it is one thing to believe you could fail because you are alone. But by the consistent reaffirmation of friends mentioning specifically praying for me, there is no way for me to believe i am alone.

God has called me. I am humbly on his side. I am being supported through prayer. Although there is room for me to mess up, there is really NO WAY for me to FAIL with God and the Body as my strength.

It is like for the first time, i really understanding and TRUSTING what the Bible means when it says
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Two Phrases I want to adapt into my everyday conversations

These are two statements that would make me more enjoyable to be around and continue to plant vision in others.

"What I like about you is..."

"What I see in you is..."

What? the Lexington gun show?!?

These are thoughts i have about people all the time in conversation, but rarely say. Very rarely would such a sentence be inappropriate and rarely would it be unnecessary in a day where honest encouragement is lacking and purpose givers are needed.

"You speak life..."

I have been given some of my most valued compliments over the past month or two. I have had more than one person say something along the lines of, "You bring life to a room."

Some alluding to general excitement and others to a zeal and passion for God in this life. Although the way "bringing life to people" may change how it looks over years and different seasons of life, i hope this is always apart of who i am in Christ.

in honor of me going to California this friday!

I wholeheartedly believe in the idea that the salvation message and who Jesus is something to be loved and enjoyed by people, but so often we can make it sound cumbersome.

God is good. He has shown me a lot of cool stuff as of late so i look forward to blogging right now! Even the fact of God's timing is cool. I am just now reading two books that i bought back in college and the timing has been so instrumental for me right in what i am learning right now.

Here are a few verses below that are taking on new meaning for me and if you read them and are skeptical or doubt the reality of the verses below, ask yourself why?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17

Why ask the question, "Does God ever hate humans?"

I had a friend ask me where i was going with my last post and I didn't quite know how to articulate my thoughts. Then my professor asked the question:

If God's justice is loving justice, and hell is the ultimate expression of God's justice, what is loving about hell?

and I answered
My dilemma is whether God sees the people that he sends to hell as confused lost souls or as enemies of God. If God ultimately chooses to send them to hell because they have chosen to be the antithesis of God and/or want nothing to do with God, such as Satan, then the loving God is respecting that person's will and although he hurts for his creation, he justly and respectfully gives him what he has ultimately chosen.

If God is sending confused and unjustly deceived people to hell that Satan has deceived then something still sits wrong. it is like God ultimately still feels sad for them and Satan has won on some lever... or something along those lines.

But i feel like the second idea is how most people approach the idea of God sending people to hell... as Him sending deceived confused people to hell who don't deserve it rather than people who have fairly and justly chosen their destination.

This all comes back to trusting God as being Just and loving and trusting Him to treat everyone accordingly without showing favoritism.

Is it a choice of rebellion or a misunderstanding?

that is my main question and although it may not seem important, it seems like the difference in my head of whether
God is doing what he truly believes to be true in sending people to hell or
whether he is hurt and almost torn from his true wishes by the choices of man & Satan

the difference between God's complete responsibility for Heaven and Hell and
Satan and man having the power to make the need for hell against God's wishes.

Does God ever hate humans?

This is a question that I have wondered about but have yet to study on so don't take this as my final opinion. Hear are my initial thoughts without doing a study and I would love to hear your opinion before i post a response later.
I do believe in the concept of God loving the sinner and hating the sin, but if my mind serves me correctly i believe God hates Satan... i don't believe he still loves him even though Satan was created being of God that chose to rebel.

1. If this is so, when nonbelievers go to hell, have they ultimately chosen to become that sin and therefore become enemies of God such as demons and Satan?

OR

2. will God's heart still love them but understand that they have chosen their own punishment and feel no remorse? (if God feels remorse for his actions i would see it as a double standard)

I feel like most of the people i would talk to would tend towards (#2) God still loving the humans, but I am having a tendency to wonder why (#1) God's demeanor would be different between Satan and humans who are both created beings that have ultimately chosen sin and eternal rebellion against God.
(This may seem like an inconsiderate idea, but i will talk more in my follow up post)

Your Thoughts...?!?

Processing Machine

Since i have returned to Indiana after New Year's i have been a processing MACHINE!!! i may have not done everything well, i may have been distracted at times, i may not have been great at output, but i definitely have been thinking, learning, reading, praying, analyzing, processing, and solidifying so many important issues about what i believe, who i am, and what my dreams are that i cannot be thankful enough for this season in that regard

(sorry to ruin it if you couldn't tell and were wondering, but this picture is flipped upside down)

A problem i have dealt with a lot lately...

This is a 5 minute video of me just talking...
so grab your coffee and get comfortable for "Bed Time Talks With Brent."


Here are two other blogs i have written on finding meaning and purpose in church. CLICK on the title:
1. What is a church service supposed to be?

2. Why Do young adults hate the church?! WHy i love the church.

Trying to Prove Ourselves

I played ping pong a lot in college and got pretty good. You could say I even prided myself in my talent. I remember one instance where I played really easy on my friend (we will call him Chris) who was known for his lack of talent, so I decided to let him win. Chris’ reaction made me feel like my charitable act was good. But that wasn’t the end…

(This is not "Chris", this is actually Luke Helm one of my toughest competitors)

…the next day I had three people including my friend come back up to me and comment about how shocked they were that Chris had beaten me. That really started to bug me. It was okay to let him win… but to let others honestly believe that he was better than me, to let them honestly think I was not as good as I really was, and then to reaffirm his win with my own two lips without trying to defend my skill was
HARD!
i thought,
"I am better than they think i am."
"Can i really let everyone think Chris beat me?"

It wasn't worry about lying, it was my pride being challenged,
But it was good for me.
And I actually believe that was at the heart of Jesus’ sacrifice.
Look at verse 8: of Philippians 2

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 
 6Who, being in very nature God, 
 did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 
 7but made himself nothing, 
 taking the very nature of a servant, 
 being made in human likeness. 
 8And being found in appearance as a man, 
 he humbled himself 
 and became obedient to death— 
 even death on a cross!

People mistook Jesus as just a man!

God humbled himself in Jesus by actually letting others think he was just a man, mock him, challenge his power, and that he deserved to be treated as a man. Not only that, but he didn’t have a complex about proving himself to be God while he was on earth. The point wasn’t to prove he was better than everyone, but to ultimately help us in love!
God is still working on me in this area.

Just today, God spoke to me about reevaluating my ministry goals. While most of my goals are out of a pure heart and just enjoyment of life, I realize that:

I still have an underwriting drive to prove that my ministry is as good as I know or believe it is.

I want to show that I am an accomplished adult, minister, and man. Although there is truth to this in Christ’s power, I believe that as long as I still struggle with my “proving myself complex” I will never fully understand the heart of Jesus’ sacrifice which went fully beyond self-glorification and what was deserved, because of his love and desire to truly help others.

God helped me write this statement of freedom below a few months ago, but I think it is a statement that I will constantly be learning and redeveloping for the rest of my life.

Proclamation of freedom

You're Free!
Don't get caught up in trying to do it for yourself
You don't have to prove your worth it
You don't have to prove your better
God's love is enough!
That is salvation.
That is him Saving you from this world.
Now love God
and love others
Freely.
Gal 3:3, 5:1, 5:13-15

Overcoming a childhood fear...

I have always had stage fright.
and this last Sunday I made a huge step to overcoming that!
Growing up, while i took piano lessons, my mom tried to get me to go to piano recitals. I remember refusing, my mom telling me i had to go at one point, but then not making me when she saw how fearful and avid i was about not getting up in front of people.

Speaking freaked me out and still makes me nervous.
The idea of losing my place in the middle of a piano recital just freaks me out.

Anyways, this last Easter Sunday i was playing the keyboard with the worship band. I had only really been a filler up until this point, but during the Sunday morning practice Josh asked me to keep playing while the rest of the band faded out on "How Great thou Art." During practice, I totally botched it the first time we tried, then i did okay during the second try.

Josh had NO CLUE what he was really asking me to do or how big of a deal this was in my head!!!

I got up there on Easter morning, stuck to my basics and did it! Not great, there was one awkward lead in, but i didn't ruin the moment. It was good and although it was only 20 seconds of a worship set that happens every week in reality... it was A HUGE step for me!

Tonight i witnessed a beautiful thing...

Josh Woods, who has been the youth pastor where my dad pastors at Plymouth Wesleyan, told the youth group that he was leaving after 3 1/2 years to church plant in Tennessee.
It was a sad night.
Yet it was also a special night.
After his announcement, the teens willingly circled around Josh and his wife Jess and began praying over him, many of the prayers, prayers of thanks. I wish i had gotten a picture of the hundred teens circled around josh with their hands laid on each other. it was a picture of power, unity, love, and loyalty that was a privilege to be a part of.

Yesterday was a GREAT day!

It was the day i got beat at Dr. Mario!

My family played this game growing up and i was always one of the best.  Just recently i was wondering if any of my friends would be a challenge.

last night i got whooped by my friend Taylor Hulse and loved every minute of it!

Does anyone else like getting beat?!?  i love the challenge of it, as long as i have another chance. 

I remember losing in 007 for the Nintendo 64 over and over again to my friend Raymond, but we kept playing and playing because i was determined to win and i loved every minute of it.  

Well last night started a new phase of Dr. Mario playing.  Yeah for old school!!

Our Life's Goal...

I was running and i had this thought that i am still working through, but it was definitely a moment of clarity and connection with God.

The thought was this:

Man's Life's Aspiration is to Live out and Love God's agenda for our lives.

It is a work in progress so feel free to criticize and challenge.
For instance, my cousin Becka didn't necessarily agree with always being able to love God's agenda for your life being the goal.
I was thinking in Outline form so bear with me.

Everyone lives their life with some worldview or motto or goal to be successful
•The Goal is To be successful- whatever that looks like for them
o Examples
• To enjoy live
• To help others
• To get rich
• To not worry about money
• To be healthy
• To have friends
• To defy the world’s expectations

How do we know what is God’s agenda?
o We must know and grow to understand God better.
• Who is he?
• What does he ask?
• What does he value?
• Basically: What is his will?
o Must know ourselves
• Who has God made us to be?
• How has he uniquely made us?
• How am I to help others in this world?
• Basically: What is his will and how has he created me to be involved?
o We must understand the story
• What is the story of history?
• What role do we play the universe’s timeline?
• Basically: What is his will for humanity?

How do we Live God’s Agenda
o We must trust God
• How do I know he won’t make me do something I don’t want to?
• How do I know he will make everything work out?
• How do I know when I have done my part?
• How do I know what season I am in?

How do we Love God’s Agenda
o God’s agenda must become ours
• Justice
• Worldly sacrifice
• Victory
• True Freedom
• To Enjoy in God’s Beauty
o God’s heart must become ours
• We must love as he loves (
• We must see as he sees (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
• We must value as he values (
• We must prioritize as he prioritizes
• We must act as he would act
o We do this because it is not only God’s agenda & desires but it is also becoming ours

PhotoShoot

Do you ever have those places where you think, i just need to take pictures here? Well i do so here were a few places i stopped and just goofed around.

And yes... this is full proof that i am not a model or a photographer but i hope you appreciate the amateur at work!!!

My Bone

Wax museum

My and the hydrant

MiniMe

Looking to the Horizons :)

Is that what i look like mad?

Did i actually succomb to wearing pink?

What the junk?

In the Dark

Colors

Continuation

Life in P-Town

Right now i am in Plymouth Indiana with my parents until i head back to New Zealand in May.
I have four main responsibilities
1. Developing my support team as a missionary
2. Intern at Plymouth Wesleyan Church
3. Part-time at the gym rock climbing wall
4. Master's work online through Liberty

I will be heading to North Carolina on a 10 day trip through March 2 so your prayers are appreciated.
That also means i may blog, although i am not sure how much time or access to internet i will have!

Growing up but I am horrible at boundaries

One of the things that has happened in this stage of my life is becoming aware of my capabilities and shortcomings. As expected sometimes this if fun and other times this is not so much fun.

It is nice to know I am a young adult: meaning I don’t have to everything figured out but that I am still in the learning process.

I learned that earlier this year. I am learning about finances. There is no doubt that I am not going to be stockbroker that makes millions or manages millions of accounts and I am okay with that. But sometimes I feel like i should be have a way better grasp on finances. It is definitely an area of learning and that is okay.
More Recently I am discovering my issue with boundaries: Before expectations and schedule determined this for me during school and work. Since I have been back from New Zealand my lack of boundaries and somewhat fluid schedule between support raising and part-time jobs have left me drained. Working somewhat out of the home right now I have discovered that I am having a hard time separating work and personal time. This allow me to constantly feel restless and actually accomplish less because there is not a designated time of FOCUS and REST but just a continual nagging of more to do.

God is teaching me. I was reading Boundaries by Henry cloud earlier this year and I think it is time I finish that book. All that to say. I am a young adult who is learning but doesn’t have everything figured out and as long as I am okay with that but willing to work, things will be just fine right now.

I have actually set a 9-5 tentative schedule that is in the trial stage this week.

Me and God not seeing eye to eye

So i was reading in 1 John today and came across verse 18 which read,

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment."

I disagreed with this statement because i had just written out my fears and i thought the verse should read

"....because fear has to do with disappointment"

I am not so worried about punishment, as I am disappointing God, myself, and others. What i realized is how worldly my perspective is to prioritize the success and approval of this world(1 John 2:15-17), yet once again, above the eternal perspective of God.

It is amazing isn't it?!? I am called a child of God. God has affirmed his presence in my life.
And he says we can know it by "the Spirit he gave us." (1Jn3:24)

Yet even now i feel like i have to worry and strive for more success that is good but probably more of my own stress and desires than God's immediate pressing on my life.

God, help me to prioritize your eternal perspective and approval on my life through your forgiveness before the worldly perspective and approval which is never to be fulfilled.

Bible Verses I Don't Understand... Can you Help?!?

I was reading Ecclesiastes last night and there were two Scriptures that just didn't sit write .
I can come up with answers but my mind is not Convinced

Ecclesiastes 5:20
19 Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God. 20 He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.

In verse 20 below, I don't get why a man would seldom reflect on his days. Aren't memories good and wouldn't this man want to look back and remember the good days? Is the concept of this verse that: when I am 70 I won't wish I was 20 again because I will still be occupied & satisfied with my present work? (Eccl7:10)

Ecclesiastes 7:1b-2

... the day of death better than the day of birth.
2 It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of every man;
the living should take this to heart.

What does he mean here? What is the idea I am supposed to take to heart about death being the destiny of every man? Is he saying it is better to prioritize my time knowing i do not know how long i live instead of live freely like i will never die?

Appreciate any help or thoughts

Friends in Plymouth

I have been hung out with Taylor and brook and just met Adam(checking Taylor in the picture below). They are a fun crew.


I am at a place where i have enough going on that, i will mainly focus on work and responsibilities, but it is nice to have people who just enjoy life and want to hangout as well.

I Did something tonight i have wanted to do since my youth group days!

Broomball!

This isn't a picture of us but it helps you get the idea if you have never played. You run around an ice hockey rink in your shoes with a flat plastic handle at the end of a stick or a broom taped up at the bottom and hit a softball sized rubber ball.

My body aches, my team sort of lost, i fell plenty of times and it was amazing!

Ever since youth group for the past 10 years i have heard of groups playing, but just never had the opportunity presented to me until the young adults group at Granger went tonight!

Definitely something i could play over and over again!
The falling and fun competition is a blast!

I Wish Time Would Just Stop For A Day!

Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish time would just freeze and I could just rest & get some things done. I experienced this today! Well, it was the weirdest feeling, I was supposed to help my dad at the church today but he got caught up so I ended up working on school work throughout the morning and early afternoon. My parents were gone almost all day and night and I didn’t answer the phone, so I had very little to no human interaction. This is the first time that I can ever remember that I didn’t go outside the house except to just sit in the Jacuzzi. I have been organizing my life and playing catchup the past two weeks, so there were multiple times in my day where things just seemed in place. I stopped and asked myself, “What should I do" in the most nonchalant manner. And to all of those who have thought to yourselves, “I will get so much done on that day?” Bad news… I got about the same amount of work done, the pace just seemed a lot slower. Life wasn’t too busy, Life wasn’t too slow, there was still a lot that could be done, but life just was.

What a different day!

Spiritual Goals

1. Help others find & achieve life goals
2. Create Community where ever I am at
3. Work on becoming more Generous
4. Write a Personal Book
5. Develop or enhance an entire church ministry
6. Study other Religions core beliefs
7. Attend a charismatic/expressive church semi-regularly in order to understand better what I believe and compare it’s strengths and weaknesses with the Wesleyan church
8. Realistic disciplines- break bad habits, exercise, & devotions!

Disclaimer: My goals are not for self-pride or accomplishment, but to focus on the things i find important, enjoyable, and worth prioritizing so that I may see, know, & enjoy God to the Fullest.)
and with the hope that others might help accomplish these dreams!

Dreams

I don't know if these will ever happen for sure, but no hurt in dreaming

• Run Across the US
• Skydive over the ocean into a wave that I surfing with the surfboard attached to my feet
• Get barreled surfing
• Write a book
• Dunk in the middle of a b-ball game
• Go through Focus on the Family intro
• Complete Dave Ridell’s Counseling in New Zealand
• Attend an Eldredge Conference

Disclaimer: My goals are not for self-pride or accomplishment, but to focus on the things i find important, enjoyable, and worth prioritizing so that I may see, know, & enjoy God to the Fullest.)
and with the hope that others might help accomplish these dreams!

Personal Growth Goals

1. Look for a way to Memorize names better
2. Finish my Master’s
3. Take a yearly retreat with God.
4. Get married before I’m 30
5. Be debt free earlier rather than later in life!
6. Memorize a book of the Bible (ie. James) (there's something so familiar and refreshing about repeating a chunk of Scripture and knowing it well)

Disclaimer: My goals are not for self-pride or accomplishment, but to focus on the things i find important, enjoyable, and worth prioritizing so that I may see, know, & enjoy God to the Fullest.)
and with the hope that others might help accomplish these dreams!

Fun Goals

The Purpose of these posts... to dream & find people who have at least one common goal and help each other accomplish those goals=]

1. Learn how to whistle loud with Fingers
2. Learn a full Michael Jackson Dance
3. Learn how to solve a Rubik's cube
4. Learn to Swing Dance
5. Learn more about constellations & the stars
6. Go to Duke vs. NC basketball game with Mike Muniz
7. Learn Tears of Heaven by Eric Clapton on the guitar
8. Learn more rifts on the Bass
9. Be on game show (American Gladiator/Deal or no Deal/Price is Right, etc.)
10. Learn to Break Dance
11. Complete a handstand for longer than a minute
12. Get Michael Jordan's Autograph
13. Be serenaded to Sleep

(Disclaimer: My goals are not for self-pride or accomplishment, but to focus on the things i find important, enjoyable, and worth prioritizing so that I may see, know, & enjoy God to the Fullest.)