Christmas Comings and Goings!

I have been able to enjoy the last few days with Family.
It is amazing how little i have contacted friends or others the past few day and
just been able to enjoy the fam.
I have a lot of good thoughts but they have to wait. I will be at the Set Apart the Wesleyan Youth Convention Dec 27 through Jan 1 down in Orlando Florida
Then seeing friends
Then to Global Partners for Missionary training January 5-11

All that to say. I won't blog for awhile but i will have a lot to say in a few weeks when i do!

me and jaylon

The Dinner table and food was amazing as usual!

One of the Best Things Ever...

is when you realize you have great friends & family!

I just got done spending time with friends from the Holland area and just walked away feeling loved, lighthearted, and rejuvenated.

The same goes with family. I don't express it enough, but the reason i have the confidence to be myself and move forward often is the direct result of my family's love and support.

What does growing up mean?

Different Theories I See:
A lot of them are somewhat negative towards adulthood, probably cause i am not there yet and really don't want to grow up.

From Doing to Watching
This is the kid saying to himself, "My parents are boring" as he watches his parents get together with friends for dinner and just sit around and talk or play cards.

From Being Managed to Managing
This is the kid that goes from his parents having to worry about all of his times and meetings to having to worry about his kids times and meetings

From Play To Work
This is the kid who goes from his responsibility of having fun and making friends to working hard and making money

From Child's Play to the Big Show
This is the idea that you get to be whatever you want until it is time for the rubber to meet the road and you to reap the consequences of your successes and failures

From Being influenced to Being the Influencer
This is the kid that goes from being the learner to the teacher of the learners

From Doing What You Want to Doing What You have to
The idea of doing a job because you want to and enjoy to just having to do what it takes to make ends meet
ie. An adventure counselor having to plan instead of lead the adventures as he moves up in responsibility.

Funny Stuff!

A Video
Then a Story...

Drew and Seth taught me something that i would've used at MULTIPLE improv talent shows had i learned this as a child.

The trick: Blowing through Bendy straws in the armpit. Guys, without a shirt for the best effect!

Story time!
So i went down to Plymouth, IN to go to a District Board Meeting on Friday.
So i woke up at 8 to drive from my parents an hour and a half down to meet with a friend at Indiana Wesleyan and then to go to my meeting at 11:45am.
Every meeting so far had been down in Marion so when the said Shiloh Wesleyan my mind assumed the church was down in Marion

BAD ASSUMPTION!

I call a half an hour to double check on directions to Shiloh Wesleyan (thinking it was Sonrise) only to realize my meeting is in a half an hour at Shiloh Wesleyan right by my parents an hour and a half away!!!

So i could only laugh at myself after the unnecessary 3 hour trip and embarrassment of going from being confident of being on time and sure to impress to being an hour late and somewhat frazzled by the whole thing!

It is a good thing i had Christian rap to accompany a trip like that! Just a quick plug. If someone wants some good Christian Rap... i am on the merge of one of the best Christian Rap Playlists ever!!! just one or two more songs...

and i was able to go the Christmas production at my Dad's Church as well!

What Would i Die for?

What am i sold on?
That there is a God
That there is Truth
That Christianity as i know it(Protestant) is the closes thing to Truth that i know
That Christ and his sacrifice is real in my life.
That Human's need help above themselves
That God and Truth have an answer that we need to search for
That the only way to search, accomplish, and be fulfilled completely is through relationships and community
That the church is needed for self-preservation(health), growth, evangelism, and the great commission
That i wouldn't be who i am today without my family's example and investment
That i wouldn't be confident in God today without conversations and seeing answered prayers that i have experienced.
That experiencing life together with others is one of the greatest gifts i know!

Jesus Died for...
Jesus died for those close to him as family and relatives
Jesus died for those who hated him and would hurt those he loved
Jesus died for those who will never give back
Jesus died for those who will lead millions against him
Jesus died for those who have "no potential."
Jesus died for the handicapped.
Jesus died for the aborted infant.

Did Jesus die for Satan and/or demons?
My first impulse is that the answer is no... but i would have to study or discuss it more.

What do These All Have in Common?

Sitting in the Jacuzzi
Surfing
Team Sports
Playing an Instrument
Showers
Meals
Camping
Movies
Travel
Dancing
Bathroom Breaks :)
Sleep.

These are places i get to just Be.

I Long for these times.

Times where you are forced to focus just on the present.

Times where you are to enjoy the people around you or lack there of.

Times where everything else fades out in that moment except the moment at hand.

Times where time and money are not the issue.

I think this is why there are those of us who wish we could go back to our childhood.

Others find this place through responsibility, control, and their freedom to choose (this is not me)

But sometimes we just have to look ahead.
Here is what i saw as i took a look into the future

Click to Enlarge

Click to Enlarge
If i were to focus on Skill i feel like $/security and success are the outcome
If i were to focus on my passions i feel like fulfillment is the outcome but i don't know about security or success.
And who knows where a girl will lead you to! :)

I'm sure there are a lot of verses that i need and would be very insightful to challenging my current outlook.
Lord, direct my reading time

My Most True Drawing.

I went and saw August Rush tonight. If you enjoy the "feel" of music and the connection one experiences when music just flows from one's being... it is a must see! It could be slow otherwise, but i LOVED it!

Also, for my readers outside of SpringLake Wesleyan, every week i am upfront doing a crazy competition or game for youth group on Wednesday nights.

When I Drew the Picture Below my Being Resonated so clearly!

Click to Enlarge Picture

Click to Enlarge Picture

I recently had a man pray words of promise and proclamation of "great things" over my life. It was encouraging and i so appreciated hearing it. The last thing i would ever want to sound like is a snob, but i felt as if....

as if I have been told and believe that God has work in store for me so many times, but i have almost become desensitized to the promise and encouragement, because i am just getting restless of waiting to seeing this come to fruition.

RESTLESSNESS- when i am not where i'm supposed to be.

Please take these as Emotions. I am expressing my feelings rather than preaching and proclaiming my established beliefs.

Study through Jeremiah

This a picture of the young adults group at Central that runs about 30 every Monday Night.
One Simple yet Huge revelation for me was this:
The reason God wants us to commit things to Him (Prov 16:3)
is so that we don't take credit or think we accomplished by ourselves later on.

A great way to make sure you don't become prideful is to make sure you commit to God anything you and ask for his Help
money management
helping people
whiter teeth
dating trying to find spouse
etc.

A few of us usually hangout somewhere afterwards.
Here is also another journal from my Sketchbook.

Click on Picture to EnlargeClick on Picture to Enlarge
Sometimes i look at my discontentment and restlessness in life like this. I am sitting on all of these blessings (good family, friends, opportunity, etc.) in agony and people with much harsher conditions seem to be so much content with their blessing. Do i have any validity to ever complain about where i am in life? or is it straight selfishness!?!

Niagra Falls Trip

This last weekend i went with a group of friends to Niagra Falls on Friday and Saturday:
I will not go into great detail so as to not make jealous those who didn't go.
Instead, here is a Picture Time Line:
Friday
6Pm-1AM We Drove from Holland to Niagra
9PMWe Stopped for food inbetween
1-3am We walked around and saw the falls at night
Saturday
9Am-11Am Sat in Hotel Jacuzzi
and Got ready in separate rooms

12Pm-2Pm Ate at a Breakfast Diner & Shopped

3PMGoofed off
3:30PMAlmost died when this killer squirrel tried to attack me
4:PM We went to the Top of the Skylon

5PM We played Skiball: Winner Got Dinner Paid by the Losers. I thought i won!
But i didn't. Josh got a dinner on us (fourth from the right)
7PM-1PM Drove back from Canada to the US.
Got stopped and inspected at the border. A Guard threateneed to take my camera away.
But they didnt.

We had some amazing talks and it was a blast.
Tim in the picture above had an amazing slide down pure ice but ended it breaking his flash so gracefully into the ground
We had some great talks and dance parties there and back. (for a later blog)

Good times.

Too many Thoughts

Blogging is hard. It is simply impossible for me to reduce my life and thoughts into a few paragraphs a day!

But a few things must be known of my journaling:

1. I desire to be transparent, honest, and real about my emotions, if anything to a fault
1. The Reason: We can only address ourselves when we start with candid truth
   
2. Since I thrive off of people contact, I often live the positives and reflect on the negatives afterwards, so my thoughts may seem critical, although hopefully not overly so.
3. I post my journals so that others can learn, relate, and understand God, this young adults ' stage, and where i am going in life.
   

I bought a sketchbook a month ago and I have tried a new way of journaling. I hope you Enjoy.

Click on the Picture to Enlarge

Hopefully the pictures speak for themselves, (But if not i will give short descriptions)
Above i have the world offering me money, woman, friends, sleep, working on my computer in the thought bubble. But i am hiding from my issues behind the business of life.

I went to Niagra Falls this weekend i will blog on that tomorrow.

Fortune Cookies

Why is it that we give the fortune cookies so much power. It's like we get really disappointed if it is a stupid one, but somehow deep inside if it makes any sense we want to believe it. How is it that something so impersonal can be trusted so much? :)

Awhile ago My fortune cookie said, "You will find success in your current work today." and somewhere inside, my heart went, "Yea!!!" I was amused as i watched all of the pastors at a district lunch open up their fortune cookies in amusement and intrigue. I am not bagging on pastors, and this may even be just me, but we want a word of hope and encouragement.

As humans, we want so badly to hear some words for each day that give us insight into the future and how the day will turn out. I am so quick to trust a printed sheet of paper that randomly some machine printed on rather than trust the God who has made daily promises based on his love and knowledge of who i am, who i am becoming, and where i will end up. Kind of comical and twisted.

God, teach me to trust your love and relationship more than the random words of others.

The Promises i Will focus on in the next blog
You are FREE!
You don't have to prove your worth it
You don't have to prove your better

Sleeping is my defense mechanism

My Rant on Defense Mechanisms... Then a Story
In Psychology I remember being taught that defense mechanisms are"bad" solutions although i always saw them as my ways to cope!

My Three are Eating, Exercising, & Sleeping.

When my body is injured i am going to get fat because the stress of no exercise just makes me want to eat and sleep!!!!
Sometimes i feel like this:
I wrote this awhile ago.

What is going on Lord? Do i just go with it? No one is requiring me to know what to do yet, but i want to move forward in direction and start taking steps... Most people do that months if not years in advance and i am struggling still for two months down the road... what is that?

I just want to sleep and have it all go away.
I want to wake up and have a job, a place where i know i am supposed to be investing, a girl to pursue, and fun things to go with. If only if only.... but for now i will just sleep

I just want to sleep and have it all go away.
I want to wake up already knowing exactly when to say no and yes. To know my boundaries and what i was capable of and what i needed to do to follow the big picture. if only if only... but for now i will just sleep.

I just want to sleep and have it all go away. All of my worries, all of my potential failures, all of my weaknesses, all of my uncertainties. I want to wake up a new man with a vision and the answers. Secure and bold. Certain and free. If only if only... but for now i will just sleep.

What if my world was changed when i woke up the next day? I woke up with purpose. I woke up with boundaries and focus. I woke as a man ready to take charge of my on life under the name of Jesus ...

After writing this i fell asleep and had this dream:
i dreamt that i went back to a place i had been once before. I was literrally being dragged along the ground by an angel when i asked the guide to take me to the beach to see the surf. Once we got there, we entered across a channel into a whole new world with a panther and 40ft deer where i entered into a village. The people were singing. In fact, they could only sing their dialogue but couldn't stop and talk about the fact that they could only sing or something bad would happen. I stopped at one place and picked up an extra pizza, as i left i was offered a mp3 player, and as i was trying to secretly escape before people realized that i was different than them. then i woke up.

Weird, but a fun dream. No significant tie. Sorry if you were expecting something deep!

As to the poem answer, those are my emotions. I have answers, but sometimes this is just really how i feel

The Heart of God

So often right now i know i don't know what i need ...
but i come up with so many good options!?!

more organized....
more money...
less weaknesses....
more busy...
more focus...
more boundaries...
more heart...
being less human...
But THIS VERSE just hit it RIGHT ON for me tongiht:
Jeremiah 7:22-23
I did not just give them commands about burnt offerings and sacrifices,

23 but I gave them this command: Obey me,
and I will be your God and you will be my people.
...that it may go well with you.

All of my answers are good. Growth and Purity are key but THE POINT of obedience, THE POINT of my life
THE POINT of it ALL

Is Coming to a place of being His.
The point of correction is to be the same as Him
The point of forgiveness is to be loved and accepted by Him

It puts things in their right place
God is God and i am his loved child.
Us being of one spirit is what i long for

Upside Down Christmas Tree!?!

Are you kidding me!
So this is the new thing.
I checked one website and they said they had sold out due to the high demand of the product!
You know it kinda grows on you!
If you do a google search and look at all the different kinds...
It has a sort of elegance to it.

This sufficed my Short attention span thoughts for the day! Hope it does the same for yoursq