Matt and Anna's Wedding in Pennsylvania

A weekend ago i went to Matt's wedding.  Matt was one of the guys who i lived on the same floor with for three years in Hodson and he was the floor chaplain one hear while i was the RA.

It was one of the easiest weddings i have been to.  Nothing seemed rushed or tensed but everything just seemed enjoyed including the family time.  so good
This little guys here is 3 and he amazed me!  Not only does he play nintendo but during the wedding reception he was walking around with a cell phone scrolling through the pictures!
There was a lot of down time with the family and old friends.  This is the late night crew sitting around talking at way too late an hour. Dave hopewell(far right) is one of my favorite people to hang out with and Bekah Johns (second from the left) is one of the people who just makes me laugh because we are both pk's and awkward at times.

it was a good weekend

It's Game Time!!!

I am leaving for New Zealand this Summer.

It just hit me this week that is SOON! It is game time! Fourth Quarter... time to finish strong while i am here in the states.
What does that mean? That means i have a lot of prayer, paperwork, organization, support raising, and focus to make this time in life come into focus and fruition!
I have some more to write, but tonight is not the time. I will have more thoughts and pictures soon.

Settled?

When I write something like this post below, it is not to state a fact. It is to be honest with the reality of where I and other young adults are in order to understand each other and provoke discussion. Only then can we discover whether we are right or else find out what needs be done in this situation to correct our thoughts or actions accordingly.

Also, this is general observation... not a personal problem. :)
It often appears that...
Parents feel like they have arrived. (to their place of responsibility)

And the next generation is looks at them thinking, “That is not quite where we want to arrive to.”

As children we respect their hard work, we appreciate their concern for our future, we appreciate who they are as a people, we see what we have enjoy because of their sacrifice, we love their marriage, we value and don’t want to undermine their love and sacrifice for us, but we aren't necessarily sold on their advice because where they have or have appeared to end up is not exactly where we want to be...

Settled.

Settled? Pt 2. Solution?

This is not conclusive but I see a few reasons for the differences.

1. First,
I am acknowledging that I am single and not responsible for a family and that this must be taken into account because even though I can observe, I admittedly can’t tell you exactly from experience what happens in marriage and family. BUT I can state confidently that your perspective on life changes.

2. Second,
The postmodern(younger) generation does not seem to value possessions as much as our parents, and although we show little restraint in what we buy, a distinction must be made that many inwardly despise the idea of working just to have. We want the same freedoms our parents have gained because of their hard work and persistence, without the possibility of "getting stuck" doing work we don't love.
This could be just another example of wanting the rewards without the work, but I think it is bigger than that. I don’t know how, but I think it is.

3. Third,
Progressive is the name of the game. Complacency, settled, obligation just does not sound appealing.
At the same time, the more I learn about the depth of God’s love, the more I admire the family structure and wonder if we undervalue it. It seems like to the progressive youth, family seems like a possible burden, a possible distraction from what we enjoy… what we want...

But what is it that we are looking to enjoy?
Individualism?
Freedom from commitment?
Being at the Top?
Having a moment in the spotlight?

Because the moment these becomes the end result, I start to long more and more for a home and family that I love and know loves me so deeply that I do not long and attempt for the world to fill this emptiness or loneliness. The automatic response to this in my head says, “Exclusive! You begin looking inward and only caring for yourself and your family.” Quite the contrary.

I KNOW there are well established, secure, and healthy homes that are settled in knowing where they find their love and support without it diminishing their love and desire to help others. I would contest that actually the opposite occurs. Your love for other outside of your family should, in fact, grow and deepen.

5. I was just uncovering the underlying lie of this pursuit in my head. Here it is:

“If you find true love, you are going to settle. So instead, deprive yourself of commitment and finding full contentment in God and family. Otherwise, you will lose your drive, need, and craving to fulfill this in a variety of other things. Then you will become less driven and lose your edge.”

This is IT!!!

But what we see as a protection of what we desire
Is actually Deprivation of what we truly desire and need!

Let me say this again!!!

What we see as a plan of protection of what we desire besides God
is actually a deprivation of the love we truly need and desire from God!!!

Satan has a pretty ingenious scheme going.

Thoughts.

A few months ago i started a word document on my desktop titled "Thoughts"
Probably one of the smartest things i have ever done!

I got into the habit of writing my thoughts down but this idea has collected them all into one place that i can go back to unfinished thoughts, revise them, post them as a blog, file them away as journal, or just delete them.

So often, though, we let AMAZING thoughts slip by us
or too often they get filed away or written on some scrap paper never to be explored again except by chance.
This thought has allowed me to continually process the learnings and concerns on my mind

Below is an example
Unfinished:
"I’m tired of being watched. Feeling watched."

Finished for a blog:

I’m tired of being watched. Feeling watched.
As a Preacher's kid it just comes with the territory.

The last two days i have been camping out in my parent's house in Indiana while my parents are out in Arizona for grandmommy's (my dad's mom) funeral.

At first i couldn't figure out why i was so content being alone and then it made sense. I have been around people nonstop for the last three weeks and this has been the first time i have had my own undisturbed "fort" per say.

Don't get me wrong, the majority of time i thrive off of people, i am definitely always watched, and it is definitely not an insecurity, but it is definitely draining when you have this constant usually true assumption that people are watching and measuring you up.

Once again, this is different than finding your self worth in others opinions.

Hard to explain
But pk's always seem to understand this
and all this to say, i have enjoyed my own place to be messy, rest, work at my own pace, pray leisurely, etc.

Friends know that i love you, but know that i also sure love my God and me time!

The Top 5 Biggest Transitions Moving From California to Indiana

1. The People: You Miss Friends
   
2. The Sun Year Round: It is cloudy for 3 winter months straight
3. The Driving: When 5 lanes turn to 1 and you are the only one still driving fast it's not good
   
4. The Food & Culture: I miss Mexican Food especially
   
5. Allergies: I never had allergies in CA but with the change in seasons i have an annual month of solid congestion (which is right now)

Surfing, the beach, etc. doesn't rank on a transition ratings... that was a devastation! :)

Two Great Things Happened Today...

I cleared my emails!
I have had the most trouble trying to get my emails to work with the mac program's mail and entourage. I just recently in this last week put everything through gmail and for the first time in a LONG time i am caught up and on top of my communication in this area!!!

I Found People Who Loved Dancing at Work
I like dancing.
I find it as a release and way to enjoy life while not caring about what other people think.
I found there are two kinds of dancing:
1. To Prove Something (often clubbing)
2. To Just Enjoy and Not Care (often weddings)
Watch these videos and Tell me they don't just make your day!






Well this is how i felt after enjoying music and goofing off with my friends tonight after work.

You just got to smile inside

Great Stories in CA

For stories on the support raising in San Diego check out my missions blog: www.brentdongellnz.com

GETTING ON THE BIG SCREEN
If you can't tell that is me raising my hands on the big screen at the Padres game and my friend Tiffany Tomlin taking the picture. you can click on the picture to make it bigger.

So it was the end of the ninth and i told Tiffany, "I will get on the big screen before this game is over!" She retorted, "yeah right" in disbelief and rightfully so, but my efforts began.

We were in the top section so it wouldn't be easy to pull off but most people on the screen just seemed to have a hand raised in the air so i tried an inning waving and nothing happened, except the game went into extra innings!

Progressively over the next 2 innings i went from waving an ice cream cone in the air while sitting down to dancing to jumping up and down, telling tiffany that, "all they needed to do was get me on the big screen and the game would end."

Then it happened, top of the thirteenth (look at the picture) while a promo video played on the screen, a camera locked in directly on us and we got a thumbs up from the camera man. Sure enough, the video ended and we had about 15 seconds of big screen dancing and cheer time!

and guess what, the Padres hit a walk off home run that inning!
...it could've ended a lot sooner! :)

LEAVING MY MEMORIES BEHINDThis was the view from the airport as i was leaving. As i sat there looking out the window i realized that the grass and palm trees in the back ground was MCRD! That is where my high school football team had our summer training for the year and it was tough!!!

It was good memories there. Football was a time of hard work and commitment to God for me. i remember one night when we had played football all day that i had not had time to read at all. Luckily when the lights went out, i had a spot by the end door where the outside light was shining through a small glass rectangle window.

So i got out my bible and fed it through the light to read it line by line. i thought everyone else was asleep and i definitely wasn't looking for recognition, but my coach was making rounds and made some kind of passing comment about "only Dongell" and "you should probably get some sleep." It wasn't a moment i wanted to be recognized, but i thanked God for the encouragement and we had a chuckle about the shock value from the coach.

Good closing memories to my trip in CA.

SURFING WITH THE SHARKS
Last Thursday i was in the water the day of the shark attack. Still kinda crazy but not earth shattering. The second day we were out we saw some dolphins and had a seal pop up in between us surfing, so we are used to creatures startling you in the water.

But there definitely an added sense of watching out for yourself although i don't think it will stop many dedicated surfers. For more on my initial reactions you can go to my original post

Catching Up With Friends

I was able to spend the last week and a half in San Diego catching up with friends and talking about my coming return to New Zealand. For more on that outcome check out my missions blog: www.brentdongellnz.com
Jerry and Dianne Cantwell were good friends with the family, especially my parents.

I was able to catch up with old friends from Grace Point Church in Del Mar including Katie and April
I was able to surf with friends.. mainly corey(left) and Trace (right)

I was able to speak at four El Cajon Wesleyan meetings including youth group on Wednesday night. The picture above was from Shaving cream hairdos
Courtney Johnston and Tommy were friends from churchThis is Gabe Cesena, Jennifer Stump, and Vanessa Cesena, friends from school and church. It is always a pleasure catching up with familiar faces and shared memories.
The teens still go to yogurt mill for frozen yogurt and hangout after youth group
Katie is my nursing friend from Minnesota who has lived in San Diego for about 2 years now. Her roommate Debbie (in the middle) likes mustard and parmesan mixed together as a comfort food.
its kind of a clumpy paste
as you can tell i wasn't overly impressed, but it was addicting in small bites!
I stayed with Michael and Jerrell Lieberknecht in their house. I slept mainly on the couch on the top left where Michael is sitting and his brother Jerrell is waving. Travis Hobbs on the top right is their cousin who i me and Michael lived in the same dorm with at IWU. Two of their friends from work played Disney scene it with us and i was a disgrace to my childhood when it came to this game!

How crazy is the shark attack in Solana Beach this morning!?!

I went surfing with Trace and Corey this morning from about 6-9. This is Corey.
It turns out in that time that we surfed a guy was attacked by a shark less then 10 miles away
The crazy part is that Trace and i were sitting in the water talking about how it blows my mind as to why people are so afraid of shark attacks (prior to hearing about this news). I was ranting that statistically it is a ridiculous longshot!

Well maybe it is a little more close to home than i thought, but i still rest pretty securely on some of the stats below:
The last known fatal shark attack in San Diego County was in 1959, according to the Florida Museum of Natural History's Shark File.

Other stats of death stats.

Shark Attack	4 (out of 57 total attacks)
Contact with hot tap-water	26
Lightning	47
Contact with hornets, wasps and bees	66
Intentional self-poisoning	5,462

In my head i will continue to surf and rationalize it as this: sure that happened, and it happened close, and it will definitely make me WAY more cautious, but i have a better chance of statistically dying by a bee sting, car crash, or lightning, but i definitely don't hide out from bees. or avoid driving, or flee from thunderstorms.

It is a part of the everyday life of a surfer. It is just as real, but less probable than the risk every person who drives to work takes of getting in a car accident and dying.
Sorry mom
for scaring you as usual, but hopefully you are getting kind of used to it.

Sweatshirt & Surf in San Diego

Who would've thought that the days in the days i came to San Diego that it would actually be warmer in Plymouth, IN than any other place i have lived in the last couple of years!
Went out surfing with Adam and Trace(in the picture) and Corey and Ben this morning and had a blast.




The waves were not good at all in Del Mar but we definitely enjoyed each other and made the best of it.

Made for relationship

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.

George Moore

At the core of who we are as humans we are made for relationship.

I just spoke on freedom at youth group last night, and one distinction i had never noticed before when talking about freedom was this

Human freedom is to do whatever one wants or feels

God's freedom is to do whatever one wants out of love

13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5
God's freedom is true freedom because it is the best way to help people.

Anger, envy, drunkenness, sexual immorality, etc. all hurt others, BUT
Love, joy, peace, self control, etc. all help others.

Freedom in Christ is the ability to help and not harm people in their deepest need: To be in a love relationship with God and others

Security in Prayer

I just realized something a few days ago. The road back to New Zealand has been an encouraging process, but it has also been a long and hard process. During those times it has been so easy to be tempted to think, "What if i mess this whole thing up?!? I know i am weak."

But i can't. I have too many people praying for me and i trust the Lord and i trust their prayers! it is one thing to believe you could fail because you are alone. But by the consistent reaffirmation of friends mentioning specifically praying for me, there is no way for me to believe i am alone.

God has called me. I am humbly on his side. I am being supported through prayer. Although there is room for me to mess up, there is really NO WAY for me to FAIL with God and the Body as my strength.

It is like for the first time, i really understanding and TRUSTING what the Bible means when it says
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Two Phrases I want to adapt into my everyday conversations

These are two statements that would make me more enjoyable to be around and continue to plant vision in others.

"What I like about you is..."

"What I see in you is..."

What? the Lexington gun show?!?

These are thoughts i have about people all the time in conversation, but rarely say. Very rarely would such a sentence be inappropriate and rarely would it be unnecessary in a day where honest encouragement is lacking and purpose givers are needed.

"You speak life..."

I have been given some of my most valued compliments over the past month or two. I have had more than one person say something along the lines of, "You bring life to a room."

Some alluding to general excitement and others to a zeal and passion for God in this life. Although the way "bringing life to people" may change how it looks over years and different seasons of life, i hope this is always apart of who i am in Christ.

in honor of me going to California this friday!

I wholeheartedly believe in the idea that the salvation message and who Jesus is something to be loved and enjoyed by people, but so often we can make it sound cumbersome.

God is good. He has shown me a lot of cool stuff as of late so i look forward to blogging right now! Even the fact of God's timing is cool. I am just now reading two books that i bought back in college and the timing has been so instrumental for me right in what i am learning right now.

Here are a few verses below that are taking on new meaning for me and if you read them and are skeptical or doubt the reality of the verses below, ask yourself why?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17

Why ask the question, "Does God ever hate humans?"

I had a friend ask me where i was going with my last post and I didn't quite know how to articulate my thoughts. Then my professor asked the question:

If God's justice is loving justice, and hell is the ultimate expression of God's justice, what is loving about hell?

and I answered
My dilemma is whether God sees the people that he sends to hell as confused lost souls or as enemies of God. If God ultimately chooses to send them to hell because they have chosen to be the antithesis of God and/or want nothing to do with God, such as Satan, then the loving God is respecting that person's will and although he hurts for his creation, he justly and respectfully gives him what he has ultimately chosen.

If God is sending confused and unjustly deceived people to hell that Satan has deceived then something still sits wrong. it is like God ultimately still feels sad for them and Satan has won on some lever... or something along those lines.

But i feel like the second idea is how most people approach the idea of God sending people to hell... as Him sending deceived confused people to hell who don't deserve it rather than people who have fairly and justly chosen their destination.

This all comes back to trusting God as being Just and loving and trusting Him to treat everyone accordingly without showing favoritism.

Is it a choice of rebellion or a misunderstanding?

that is my main question and although it may not seem important, it seems like the difference in my head of whether
God is doing what he truly believes to be true in sending people to hell or
whether he is hurt and almost torn from his true wishes by the choices of man & Satan

the difference between God's complete responsibility for Heaven and Hell and
Satan and man having the power to make the need for hell against God's wishes.

Does God ever hate humans?

This is a question that I have wondered about but have yet to study on so don't take this as my final opinion. Hear are my initial thoughts without doing a study and I would love to hear your opinion before i post a response later.
I do believe in the concept of God loving the sinner and hating the sin, but if my mind serves me correctly i believe God hates Satan... i don't believe he still loves him even though Satan was created being of God that chose to rebel.

1. If this is so, when nonbelievers go to hell, have they ultimately chosen to become that sin and therefore become enemies of God such as demons and Satan?

OR

2. will God's heart still love them but understand that they have chosen their own punishment and feel no remorse? (if God feels remorse for his actions i would see it as a double standard)

I feel like most of the people i would talk to would tend towards (#2) God still loving the humans, but I am having a tendency to wonder why (#1) God's demeanor would be different between Satan and humans who are both created beings that have ultimately chosen sin and eternal rebellion against God.
(This may seem like an inconsiderate idea, but i will talk more in my follow up post)

Your Thoughts...?!?

Processing Machine

Since i have returned to Indiana after New Year's i have been a processing MACHINE!!! i may have not done everything well, i may have been distracted at times, i may not have been great at output, but i definitely have been thinking, learning, reading, praying, analyzing, processing, and solidifying so many important issues about what i believe, who i am, and what my dreams are that i cannot be thankful enough for this season in that regard

(sorry to ruin it if you couldn't tell and were wondering, but this picture is flipped upside down)

A problem i have dealt with a lot lately...

This is a 5 minute video of me just talking...
so grab your coffee and get comfortable for "Bed Time Talks With Brent."


Here are two other blogs i have written on finding meaning and purpose in church. CLICK on the title:
1. What is a church service supposed to be?

2. Why Do young adults hate the church?! WHy i love the church.

Trying to Prove Ourselves

I played ping pong a lot in college and got pretty good. You could say I even prided myself in my talent. I remember one instance where I played really easy on my friend (we will call him Chris) who was known for his lack of talent, so I decided to let him win. Chris’ reaction made me feel like my charitable act was good. But that wasn’t the end…

(This is not "Chris", this is actually Luke Helm one of my toughest competitors)

…the next day I had three people including my friend come back up to me and comment about how shocked they were that Chris had beaten me. That really started to bug me. It was okay to let him win… but to let others honestly believe that he was better than me, to let them honestly think I was not as good as I really was, and then to reaffirm his win with my own two lips without trying to defend my skill was
HARD!
i thought,
"I am better than they think i am."
"Can i really let everyone think Chris beat me?"

It wasn't worry about lying, it was my pride being challenged,
But it was good for me.
And I actually believe that was at the heart of Jesus’ sacrifice.
Look at verse 8: of Philippians 2

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 
 6Who, being in very nature God, 
 did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 
 7but made himself nothing, 
 taking the very nature of a servant, 
 being made in human likeness. 
 8And being found in appearance as a man, 
 he humbled himself 
 and became obedient to death— 
 even death on a cross!

People mistook Jesus as just a man!

God humbled himself in Jesus by actually letting others think he was just a man, mock him, challenge his power, and that he deserved to be treated as a man. Not only that, but he didn’t have a complex about proving himself to be God while he was on earth. The point wasn’t to prove he was better than everyone, but to ultimately help us in love!
God is still working on me in this area.

Just today, God spoke to me about reevaluating my ministry goals. While most of my goals are out of a pure heart and just enjoyment of life, I realize that:

I still have an underwriting drive to prove that my ministry is as good as I know or believe it is.

I want to show that I am an accomplished adult, minister, and man. Although there is truth to this in Christ’s power, I believe that as long as I still struggle with my “proving myself complex” I will never fully understand the heart of Jesus’ sacrifice which went fully beyond self-glorification and what was deserved, because of his love and desire to truly help others.

God helped me write this statement of freedom below a few months ago, but I think it is a statement that I will constantly be learning and redeveloping for the rest of my life.

Proclamation of freedom

You're Free!
Don't get caught up in trying to do it for yourself
You don't have to prove your worth it
You don't have to prove your better
God's love is enough!
That is salvation.
That is him Saving you from this world.
Now love God
and love others
Freely.
Gal 3:3, 5:1, 5:13-15

Overcoming a childhood fear...

I have always had stage fright.
and this last Sunday I made a huge step to overcoming that!
Growing up, while i took piano lessons, my mom tried to get me to go to piano recitals. I remember refusing, my mom telling me i had to go at one point, but then not making me when she saw how fearful and avid i was about not getting up in front of people.

Speaking freaked me out and still makes me nervous.
The idea of losing my place in the middle of a piano recital just freaks me out.

Anyways, this last Easter Sunday i was playing the keyboard with the worship band. I had only really been a filler up until this point, but during the Sunday morning practice Josh asked me to keep playing while the rest of the band faded out on "How Great thou Art." During practice, I totally botched it the first time we tried, then i did okay during the second try.

Josh had NO CLUE what he was really asking me to do or how big of a deal this was in my head!!!

I got up there on Easter morning, stuck to my basics and did it! Not great, there was one awkward lead in, but i didn't ruin the moment. It was good and although it was only 20 seconds of a worship set that happens every week in reality... it was A HUGE step for me!

Tonight i witnessed a beautiful thing...

Josh Woods, who has been the youth pastor where my dad pastors at Plymouth Wesleyan, told the youth group that he was leaving after 3 1/2 years to church plant in Tennessee.
It was a sad night.
Yet it was also a special night.
After his announcement, the teens willingly circled around Josh and his wife Jess and began praying over him, many of the prayers, prayers of thanks. I wish i had gotten a picture of the hundred teens circled around josh with their hands laid on each other. it was a picture of power, unity, love, and loyalty that was a privilege to be a part of.

Yesterday was a GREAT day!

It was the day i got beat at Dr. Mario!

My family played this game growing up and i was always one of the best.  Just recently i was wondering if any of my friends would be a challenge.

last night i got whooped by my friend Taylor Hulse and loved every minute of it!

Does anyone else like getting beat?!?  i love the challenge of it, as long as i have another chance. 

I remember losing in 007 for the Nintendo 64 over and over again to my friend Raymond, but we kept playing and playing because i was determined to win and i loved every minute of it.  

Well last night started a new phase of Dr. Mario playing.  Yeah for old school!!

Our Life's Goal...

I was running and i had this thought that i am still working through, but it was definitely a moment of clarity and connection with God.

The thought was this:

Man's Life's Aspiration is to Live out and Love God's agenda for our lives.

It is a work in progress so feel free to criticize and challenge.
For instance, my cousin Becka didn't necessarily agree with always being able to love God's agenda for your life being the goal.
I was thinking in Outline form so bear with me.

Everyone lives their life with some worldview or motto or goal to be successful
•The Goal is To be successful- whatever that looks like for them
o Examples
• To enjoy live
• To help others
• To get rich
• To not worry about money
• To be healthy
• To have friends
• To defy the world’s expectations

How do we know what is God’s agenda?
o We must know and grow to understand God better.
• Who is he?
• What does he ask?
• What does he value?
• Basically: What is his will?
o Must know ourselves
• Who has God made us to be?
• How has he uniquely made us?
• How am I to help others in this world?
• Basically: What is his will and how has he created me to be involved?
o We must understand the story
• What is the story of history?
• What role do we play the universe’s timeline?
• Basically: What is his will for humanity?

How do we Live God’s Agenda
o We must trust God
• How do I know he won’t make me do something I don’t want to?
• How do I know he will make everything work out?
• How do I know when I have done my part?
• How do I know what season I am in?

How do we Love God’s Agenda
o God’s agenda must become ours
• Justice
• Worldly sacrifice
• Victory
• True Freedom
• To Enjoy in God’s Beauty
o God’s heart must become ours
• We must love as he loves (
• We must see as he sees (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
• We must value as he values (
• We must prioritize as he prioritizes
• We must act as he would act
o We do this because it is not only God’s agenda & desires but it is also becoming ours